Hey
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(via dont-dissthe-sonic)
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‘if the bride and groom would now like to exchange their vows’ the priest says
‘a, e, i, o, u’ the bride whispers
#with his eyes filling with tears #the groom chokes out a heartfelt ”and sometimes y”
(via fuckinggoldstein)
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- me: ur sitting in my seat
- kid: i don't see ur name on it
- me: it will be written in your blood if you don't get the fuck up
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(via TumbleOn)
(via sarahlovelyyy)
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X
(via drousy)
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what if a guy in a hoodie comes up to you and hands you a giant book and gives you a sly smirk. when you start to read it, you realize it’s a book about your entire life. would you read it to the end?
what if you read it up to where you are now and then you realize that there’s only like three pages left when you get there
but why is the guy wearing a hoodie
is the hoodie important
(via young-elf)
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I’d love to sit there and just drink my tea, listening to the rain
I’d love to have sex there and listen to the rain between moans
there are two kinds of peopleImagine a murder coming through the bushes at night and they could see you sleeping
Maybe there are three kinds of people
(via ashleereneeforsberg)
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- Regular old phones : (drops on concrete at 50 miles per hour ) *slightly cracks*
- Android : (drops on concrete floor) *slightly cracks)
- iPhones: (drops on carpet floor) *shatters , self destructs , explodes , falls into another dimension , becomes pregnant , turns into a cow
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I’m Judge Sassy McPaws.
God, what am I doing with my life?
Doctor Sassy McPaws…
Madam Hairy McMittens.
Chancellor Hissy McMittens
Emperor Snuggly McPaws
emperor snuggly bottom
Count Snuggly McClump
Madam Fluffy Bottom
doctor scratchy von litter
Professor Scratchy McMittons
